Certificate of Non‑Availability

This certifies that the domain SERGEANT.COM is the lawful surname of an actual living person, that it is held in perpetuity for the use of persons so named, and that it is NOT FOR SALE.

The Registrar ISSUED WITHOUT EXPIRATION

Declined preemptively

Offers declined to date

AUDITED ANNUALLY. THE AUDIT TAKES SECONDS.

Form 12-L · Ledger of Record

The Ledger of Declined Offers

Offers are processed in the order received and declined in the order processed. A representative sample of the record follows. The full ledger is available on request, in person, at a window that is closed.

Date	Offer, as received	Disposition
2019-04-02	"quick question about your domain"	DECLINED
2020-11-17	four figures, several exclamation points	DECLINED
2021-06-08	claimed to represent a serious buyer	DECLINED, seriousness unverified
2022-02-14	"name your price"	DECLINED, price named: no
2023-09-30	offered exposure	DECLINED
2024-03-11	cryptocurrency, the second time	DECLINED
2025-06-19	followed up on his follow-up	DECLINED twice, for efficiency

Form 86-D · Rev. 11

Application to Acquire This Domain

The Bureau accepts applications. Acceptance of an application is not acceptance of an offer. Applicants are advised to read the certificate above, then the ledger above, then their own application, in that order.

Window 3 · Surname Services

The One Window That Opens

An empty mid-century records office waiting room, with a placard reading Window 3 beside a frosted service window

Persons surnamed Sergeant may petition for an address at this domain. The domain has carried family mail since before you asked. Write, bring proof of name, and the Registrar will talk. The window has seen about five such petitions in twenty-eight years, and remembers each one fondly.

Correspondence: domaininfo@sergeant.com, citing case file SGT‑001. The Bureau does not sell to Sergeants either. It talks.

Complaint 22-M · Frequently Filed

The Registrar has never been in the military. Other Sergeants have, and their records are their own. The Bureau maintains a standing form for the follow-up question and regrets that you are not the first to file it.

Facilities · Equipment Loan

The Stamp Desk

Official instruments of the Bureau, left unattended. Pick one up, then click anywhere on the premises. Facilities asks that you be reasonable about it, and knows that you will not be.

Overhead view of a records office desk with brass rubber stamps, a red ink pad, and a ledger

Form 9-W · Queue Management

The Waiting Room

Hours of operation: the office is always closed, but the answer is always available. It is no.

TAKE A NUMBER

A-348 HOLD ON TO THIS. FOREVER, PROBABLY.

NOW SERVING: 000